I tried to be strong, and yes, I deleted all the photos away, put away everything, but why do I still feel this way?

There's a time for everything, there's a time to grief, sometimes feel angry, denial, acceptance. But I don't want to let myself be sad, I don't want to let you see that how weak I am without you, I don't want to appear to be clingy, I don't want to let you see how sad I am. And most importantly, I don't want to become your stumbling block. I know if I let myself grief over this, I don't know what I will do, I can't control my thoughts and feelings. Suppressing all my emotions isn't easy. I felt suffocated. I love to talk about how I feel, but right now, it seems like I can't share with anyone.

Appearing strong in front of people, smiling when I really don't feel like, I hate it. But what can I do? I told myself, I'm just gonna give you three days to be sad, after which, no more. You can't cry, you can't talk about how sad you are, even if it hurt like crazy. And yes, today is the fourth day. Yesterday, I didn't cry. Today, only tears brimming in my eyes, but I refuse to let it fall. Am I really okay? I can feel my suppressed emotions, it's making me feel terrible.

Please, let me be strong.